John Gottman PhD Marriage Institute

  • Preschool
  • Is Your Child Ready for 
  • Potty Training?
  • Strategies to Make
  •  Anytime With Your 
  • Child Quality Time
  • First-Time Dads: 
  • How to Bond with 
  • Daughters
  • Girls Night Out (or In)!


  1. Share Parenting Stories and Tips
  2. Simple Steps to Healthy Family
  3. Families: Family Fitness
  4. Quiz: What's Your Parenting Style?

Gottman's fifth principle entails the following steps:

1. Soften your start-up

2. Learn to make and receive repair attempts

3. Soothe yourself and each other

4. Compromise

5. Be tolerant of each other’s faults

Regulated Conflict Resolution Styles (CSR)

The three subgroups that qualify as stable and regulated are validating, volatile, and avoidant (Gottman, 1994b).


 Perpetual problems are either (1) fundamental differences in your personalities that repeatedly create conflict, or (2) fundamental differences in your life style needs. Needs are basic to your own identity, to who you are as a person.