Gottman's fifth principle entails the following steps:
1. Soften your start-up
2. Learn to make and receive repair attempts
3. Soothe yourself and each other
5. Be tolerant of each other’s faults
Regulated Conflict Resolution Styles (CSR)
The three subgroups that qualify as stable and regulated are validating, volatile, and avoidant (Gottman, 1994b).
Perpetual problems are either (1) fundamental differences in your personalities that repeatedly create conflict, or (2) fundamental differences in your life style needs. Needs are basic to your own identity, to who you are as a person.
David C. Lichti, LMFT